Just Talkin' Story

A week to myself, ws it what I dreamt it would be?

2010-08-27T12:52:00.000-07:00

Well I'm coming to a close to my week by myself. Yep that's right no kids and no husband. I used to dream about this day at least once a week if not more. You know a break I usually would just dream of 3 days because after all a whole week was just being ridicules. I mean that just never happens. Well, I finally got the wish of a lifetime. I finally got the chance to do what it is I dreamt of doing. Now I'm taking the time to look and see if I used my time wisely. Things that I dream of that I did do was I had a slumber party with girlfriends. It was like high school all over again but this time the main topic was kids and not boys!!! The other thing I did was go to the club,dance my ass off. get way too drunk and stay out way too late. Oh it was fun boy did I pay for it the next day! I haven't puked in the morning from drinking since before I was married. I know better! If you are that drunk puke the night before. Don't wait until the next morning!!! That shit SUCKS!!! Anyway, the light to this hanger hell I was in was I didn't have to deal with anybody! I pretty much stayed in bed all day which, leads to my next dream of days to myself. I would dream of spending the entire day in my bed reading like I used to when I was in college. So, still being slow and hung over on Monday, I spent the entire day in bed reading. And I do mean the entire day. I read two books. It was beautiful.

Now I get to thinking about the the things that I had the time and the chance to do but I didn't. I didn't exercise one day!!! Nothing. Why would I do that when the main reason I don't get as much exercise as I need is because my schedule with the kids. I had plenty of times I could have gone for a run. I did reserve a time for Yoga Tuesday night but thought it was better to talk with my friend and neighbor that I don't get to see very often. However, I am glad I did. I made the effort and got to hang out twice. So, I guess I did fulfill by dreams by spending time with friends and family. Without the family schedule holding me down I have time to spend with those that I love. Some I haven't seen in forever!

I need to sign off here but this alone time topic might not be done. I have been thinking that I really need to blog more because I have so many thought running through my head and they make me tired. Love to the small few people that took the time to read.

Change Only Happens When You Start

2009-11-07T18:01:00.000-08:00

OK so I know they way I am living my life right now isn't going to get me where I want to be living my life 1,3 and 5 years from now. I've been thinking I'm in a rut. I need to expand as a person. Discover me. Thinking about these things have actually put me further in a rut. Now, I'm asking myself,"Why?" What is holding me back from working toward a better me? Many many reasons!!! I know things, habits, in my life need to change in order for me to reach my full potential. Now don't put me in rehab just quite yet. I have many habits, as do we all, that aren't all evil. Anyway, I'm going to start exploring ways to incoporate things into everyday life in a way that helps me get to wherever it is that i want to be.

This brings up a total other topic but one that is needed in order to achieve the first. What is it that I really want to do/live? I can think of a million yet I can't think of one. I know, sounds crazy but when you look closely at your life trying to pin point some concrete goals can be a little hard. It is in my opinion that you have to have clear precise goals and dreams in order for them to work. But, I also have to remind myself not to let the "mapping out the plan" get in way of actually "acting out the plan".

Stay tuned to more thoughts racing through my brain.

Oh and the highlighted areas or things to remind me to investigate and give thought to. I could spend hours on here but not today.

Sometimes it's not the little things that matter

2009-10-22T16:04:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when the small things in life stack up I tend to think I am failing on many different levels. Then something happens to remind me I have achieved things on a greater level than if my check book balances. Family is so very important to me and it's good to hear that when it comes to my family I'm at least doing something right there. I’ll go ahead and pat my back. Noah is thriving and his teacher thinks he is a "Gem". Dezi is a joy to me. Jeremy has my full support to go back to school for his BA. I gave birth to my beautiful niece. These are the things that r important. I know I get caught up in all the day to day life shit that I forget what life is really about. I know there are major decisions and adjustments that need to be made. I know it won't be easy to face my fears and the truth but I am strong and I can do it. I'm not a bad person. I need to stop thinking what will people think and just do what I think is best. Today has been a ruff day. But I have the power to change that. Boy, did I need to give myself this little pep talk!!

Today is the First Day

2009-09-25T15:42:00.000-07:00

Well, i was talking to my friend Jodi and thought her blogging was a great idea. So here I am starting off. First off if you read this I already know I CAN'T SPELL!!!! So, that said even though there is spell check don't judge me if I spell something wrong. No haters here well unless it's me complaining! Now i just need to figure out how Jodi got her blog page to look so good and then how to get pictures on here. I feel I might be blogging to myself but maybe this will help me release ideas and thoughts so i can move on to even better ideas and thought.