Change Only Happens When You Start

OK so I know they way I am living my life right now isn't going to get me where I want to be living my life 1,3 and 5 years from now. I've been thinking I'm in a rut. I need to expand as a person. Discover me. Thinking about these things have actually put me further in a rut. Now, I'm asking myself,"Why?" What is holding me back from working toward a better me? Many many reasons!!! I know things, habits, in my life need to change in order for me to reach my full potential. Now don't put me in rehab just quite yet. I have many habits, as do we all, that aren't all evil. Anyway, I'm going to start exploring ways to incoporate things into everyday life in a way that helps me get to wherever it is that i want to be.

This brings up a total other topic but one that is needed in order to achieve the first. What is it that I really want to do/live? I can think of a million yet I can't think of one. I know, sounds crazy but when you look closely at your life trying to pin point some concrete goals can be a little hard. It is in my opinion that you have to have clear precise goals and dreams in order for them to work. But, I also have to remind myself not to let the "mapping out the plan" get in way of actually "acting out the plan".

Stay tuned to more thoughts racing through my brain.

Oh and the highlighted areas or things to remind me to investigate and give thought to. I could spend hours on here but not today.

Sometimes it's not the little things that matter

Sometimes when the small things in life stack up I tend to think I am failing on many different levels. Then something happens to remind me I have achieved things on a greater level than if my check book balances. Family is so very important to me and it's good to hear that when it comes to my family I'm at least doing something right there. I’ll go ahead and pat my back. Noah is thriving and his teacher thinks he is a "Gem". Dezi is a joy to me. Jeremy has my full support to go back to school for his BA. I gave birth to my beautiful niece. These are the things that r important. I know I get caught up in all the day to day life shit that I forget what life is really about. I know there are major decisions and adjustments that need to be made. I know it won't be easy to face my fears and the truth but I am strong and I can do it. I'm not a bad person. I need to stop thinking what will people think and just do what I think is best. Today has been a ruff day. But I have the power to change that. Boy, did I need to give myself this little pep talk!!

Today is the First Day

Well, i was talking to my friend Jodi and thought her blogging was a great idea. So here I am starting off. First off if you read this I already know I CAN'T SPELL!!!! So, that said even though there is spell check don't judge me if I spell something wrong. No haters here well unless it's me complaining! Now i just need to figure out how Jodi got her blog page to look so good and then how to get pictures on here. I feel I might be blogging to myself but maybe this will help me release ideas and thoughts so i can move on to even better ideas and thought.